No, this isn’t the a
review of the novella by Franz Kafka! I’m addressing some personal changes and feel like reflecting on them in this post.
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| Metamorphosis |
People come and go
This is a difficult one to process – for me at least – , that the people in my life are temporary – In sense everything is – and for that reason, I must not rejoice when new people enter my life, or feel like it ended when others leave my life. I started to think of it more like a public transit vehicle where people come on the cart and others go off of it. I also left some people’s life and left a place, that’s how things go.
I’m not always right
While this one seems like a no-brainer, it took me a while to comprehend that the other party might have a more convincing argument than mine, and that I might be completely wrong. It’s true that I’ve been treated unfairly in the past, however that doesn’t mean I have a fair cause all the time!
The change is real!
I no longer resemble my former self, I have enough self awareness to tell that much. Am I better or worse however? Have I made progress or have I regressed as a person? I cannot answer this clearly from this perspective and level of consciousness. Quite frankly I don’t know what to think or how to feel about these changes? Should I succumb to the overwhelming changes? Or should I resist and hold on to scraps of an old identity?
“The only constant in life is constant change”
Trying to resist change is a change in itself – no matter how nonsensical this phrase sounds -, people change and I am no exception to the winds of change. It’s both exciting and terrifying to morph into someone new, even if it happened gradually and almost unnoticeably.
“A river cuts through rock, not because of its power, but because of its persistence.”
I am a result of my actions and choices. All those little things I gave no thought, and the major life changing events fall like the sand in an hourglass, shaping my identity and the course for the rest of my life. And that is something I must learn how to deal with.
The path
If things were as simple as having two clear paths to choose from, one for the “light” and the other for the “dark”. Life is so much more complicated than a binary choice setup, and the former choices are often shrouded in doubts and clouded in mystery.
I only hope that when the dust settles, I maintain what matters of myself and lose all negative traits and flaws. The term purify by fire comes to mind.
A complete transformation
In moments of weakness I prayed to wake up changed into another man, stronger and more confidant in myself. Such a drastic change can’t possibly occur overnight. If only things were that simple!
However as the old saying goes: “Careful of what you wish for”.. Now the wish is granted, but not for the man who made the said wish!
With change our motives and wishes change as well, that’s why timing is critical, I do believe that dreams and wishes have an expiry date to them ..
Searching for the holy grail
A question I ask myself often is: “Who am I?”. I am beginning to think that there is no definite answer for this question. Identity is ever changing. ever shifting, being shaped by everything a man encounters and experiences. The answer itself changes from the time the question is asked to another.
Finding the one true answer would be like finding the holy grail, the greatest treasure a man could find in himself.
Until the day I find what I’m looking for, I’ll continue asking, searching and growing.
