I’m not doing okay
I’m not 100%.
Which led me to think: What is “Okay”? What is my “100%”?I had no answer to that.
Will I ever feel “OK”, or regain my “100%”?
I had no answer to that, either.
However, I’m okay not being “okay”.
A lot of my plans foiled, my hopes were shattered and I was left utterly disappointed. There weren’t many options left.
I don’t know another way but to push forward. There is no romanticizing it.
Life isn’t a fairy tale
The art of muddling through
I found myself muddling through a lot of challenges and obstacles. The end result is not pretty and no where near perfect. And I accept that as well.
I don’t have an answer to these questions at the time of this writing.
An identity crisis
And you probably guess what I’m going to say here as well..
Old habits die hard
Even if I had another way to go I’d probably choose the rough path just to prove I’m worthy. Or to push myself even further and defy the status – quo.
I realized also that it’s not easy being with me, I tend to like my space and hate being controlled, I also get myself into weird situations and sometimes don’t fix them properly until they explode!
And I can drop everything at a moment’s notice and ride into the sunset.
It’s probably not too late to turn the situation around and start fresh, right?
Well, it’s not as simple as it sounds..
What if I’m content with this path of adventure? I might not be ready to get off the roller coaster just yet. It’s probably not fair to ask for something I can’t give, which is certainty..
I pray for more clarity and a sense of belonging soon enough. This whole thing is starting to drive me insane.