Seems like it’s been forever since I last wrote anything in English, and, to be honest it has!
I haven’t wrote anything in English. I do tend to believe that the blog has slowly gravitated towards being an exclusively Arabic blog, which is fine. I guess since most of the readers that I have are native Arabic speakers, but I reckon I have a few that are not.
So, here’s an update in English. I always like to reminisce on this blog, as the past seems like a safe haven free from judgment.
I always like to relish on the possibilities of what could have been?This time my memory takes me back to when I was in my late 20s.
I felt like hot sh*t .. I was on the top of my game or so I thought. I was arrogant thinking that I figured everything out .. That I’ve saw all what I needed to see, heard all of what I needed to hear. That I knew all the answers to life’s biggest questions. How foolish!
I didn’t know everything tho ..
I had no idea what the future had in store for me. I felt I was like living on the edge. As if I was on a running timer. I had no mercy on myself. Drowning my misery in work and trying to muffle down the voice of life and the voice of war that broke down a few months earlier. That will comeback to haunt me, I can assure you!
What goes up ..
The inevitable happened and I’ve flat-lined .. I crashed and burned so hard I had to go off the face of earth for a few months. Just to process what happened. Within a few weeks I was jobless, homeless. I had no solace but the beach to sit in front of and pounder over my very existence.
Having nothing really changes your perspective on life, love and friendship. It gives time to pounder and redefine everything. What are the most important things in life?
Finding the strength to go on after such a loss. Think of it as the silver lining of the cloud.
A shift back to the present time
I think I’m in a better place equipped with a slightly better perspective and a renewed outlook on life.
That would allow me to judge my former self in a better light and hopefully make better decisions and be a better human being.
This violent cycle has taught me to be humble, take nothing for granted and most importantly: Appreciate the little things in life.
Expect the worst and hope for the best.